Reflections #0034
“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.” — Dalai Lama.
I have read, reflected and practised quite a bit to make some sense of compassion for myself. Sharing my journey below.
To make it experiential, we will work with a common scenario.
Imagine your car stops at a traffic light, and a beggar comes knocking at the window. The person is visibly distressed because of the cold weather, possibly hungry and seems tired (if not sick). Some time has passed, and the person has been making eye contact with you and shows no sign of moving on. How would you feel? What would you do?
Before you go further, I invite you to take a moment to reflect on your most common response to a situation like this.
My responses have evolved.
Early on, I would look at young children begging and feel bad for them. I would feel the injustice they face, give them something, and send them away. It would bring up feelings I didn’t know how to accept and respond to. I wanted it to go away, and the only way I learned was to give something so that it became out of sight, out of mind. My reaction was guilt for myself and a sense of pity towards the beggar that emerged out of sympathy.
As I reflected further, I learnt to hold the feeling within me. I could empathize with what the person might be going through in that state of distress. This time there was a sense of connection based on an understanding of the same feeling that exists in me that I can sense in the other person. I would give what I could, but the response would still be towards what I felt because of the experience.
Through years of training my mind and body, I learnt to connect with the universal suffering each of us goes through despite our roles and positions. A deplorable state as a child’s begging puts me in touch with the lack of dignity in the act of begging and the helplessness of the person doing it. Nowadays, if I am giving anything to a beggar, it is accompanied by intentional eye contact, acknowledging their presence in the moment. Sometimes, it is spontaneously followed by a prayer to alleviate the distress and suffering we experience. A simple wish held in silence is helpful even if I cannot give anything. Compassion is soothing and enriching for everyone involved, even the bystanders.
Compassion, like any other virtue, is a felt inner state and cannot be imposed as an idea by the mind. It is not a state of looking at someone as a victim while making yourself a saviour. It is not a cognitive state where other person’s feelings only help you to make better sense. It is a wish for all beings to be free from suffering. It is the courage and strength that flows deep within us.
You can uncover the compassion within and learn to live by it — https://player.vimeo.com/video/579484794
Curious to know more about Learn | Live | Lead | Love? — https://linktr.ee/ankitchhabra
#learn #live #lead #love
